I’m Telling Mommy You Bit the Mailman

August 4, 2008 at 6:00 am (General, Marcia Colette)

While on vacation to the Grand Canyon last week, my friends and we took Route 66 from Flagstaff to get there.  There was this one stretch of land where the pine trees were thick and the bark was so dark that it looked someone rubbed it with charcoal.  Think the wooded scene from Tales from the Darkside and that’s what you have.  The first thought that came to mind was, “Gee, this would make a fabulous vacation for a family of werewolves.”

We all have fond family memories of going on vacation, but what would you do if your child, sibling, or spouse was a werewolf?  What special things would you have to take into consideration if they had to change mid-trip? 

A cruise is pretty much out of the question.  Even if your family member changed into a mermaid, it’s not like the Royal Caribbean will stop to pick them up when they’re done stretching their fins.  In that case, I hope you have enough money to afford your own private yacht or small scooner.  Also, let’s hope the Coast Guard won’t stop to chat. 

Camping would probably be the best trip for the shapeshifting relatives because there’s enough room to roam free.  The beach wouldn’t be a bad idea as long as you choose semi-private.  The last thing a stranger wants to see is her human child playing with a cheetah or a wolf on the beach.  I can see the non-shifter husband trying to explain the scene away: “Don’t worry.  That’s just my harmless wife going for a lope with your son.  She likes children.”

I guess the biggest worry would be someone reporting a wild animal on the loose.  How in the world do you explain it to animal control?  “Sir, my husband is just going for a rabbit snack because he didn’t get enough to eat at the dinner theatre.  I swear.  You can even test that blood dripping from his jaw.”

The most interesting part would come from the kids, of course.  We all know how well they can keep a secret when they’re five years old, right?

Mrs. Spears checked off the next name on her list.  “And Rebecca, honey, would you please share with the class what your mommy does for a living?”

“Oh, my mommy turns into a lion at night and goes after deers.  Sometimes, though, she’s not good at gettin’ all the blood off her paws.  Daddy sometimes has to lick it for her.  Then, they both flop over on their sides with their bellies full of deer meat, beaver meat, and that mean ol’ Mr. D’Amario who’s always ‘plaining about the smell comin’ from the shed.  I bet he won’t ‘plain no more.”

“Oh.  Okay.  Um…Michele, honey, you’re uh…you’re next.  I think.  And Rebecca, sweetie, don’t go anywhere, okay?  We should really talk to Principal Devoti after school.  Maybe share this story with the school counselor, Mr. St. Giles, while we’re at it.”

Little Rebecca shook her head.  “Uh uh.  My mommy told me not to tell nobody.  I only shared this with you ’cause you asked us to.  Mommy and Daddy said nothing ’bout sharin’ it.  If I told you, Mommy and Daddy might put you next to the rest of Mr. D’Amario.  That would make me sad.”

Let’s not forget about the sibling rivalries.  That’s a nightmare waiting to happen, especially when you have to worry about little Deborah being a werewolf and fully aware of what territorial rights mean.  Poor little AJ is bound to lose an arm if she steals her sister’s doll.

Is anyone else worried about the shapeshifters in the family?

~Marcia Colette




  1. Beth C. said,

    hmm, you know I don’t think I worry about my family’s shifter heritage because all my parents and kids are all shifters. I think the hard thing would be if you had two unaware half-breeds who have a child who becomes a shifter. Then no-one knows what to expect.

    Then the parents blame each other, the kid doesn’t know what to do and usually ends up repressed and the family ends up breaking up.

    So perfect vacations – hmm…still think it depends on the family. I hardly ever went to the beach, but did several cave and mountain sightseeing/hiking vacations. I grew up in a landlocked state. My husband however did beach vacations. So know we do beach vacations…eventually I want to go back to a cave and Niagara Falls.

  2. Cathy said,

    I loved the kid scene. My grandson is 5. He was telling his friend this weekend about the big boxes in the backyard and I don’t know why, but all of a sudden they were full of yucky things (body parts, gooey dripping stuff, dirt?). I didn’t hear all of it, but it sure impressed the younger kid. We were actually replacing a bathroom cabinet and counter top. Who knew yucky stuff would find its way in there afterward?
    My 11 year old granddaughters response? “I’m telling Mommy what you said! Mommy! Austin’s putting dead things in the big box in the backyard!!”
    Yeah, just imagine if it was a shifter family. You might just see body parts! I think that vacation was long over due.

  3. Savanna Kougar said,

    Marcia, I just loved your post. Thanks!
    Shifter family vacation? Hmmm…what a road trip series! Planning on penning that one?

    Me as a shifter, any place still wild and free and open to roaming without getting hunted, or picked up by the dreaded animal control.

  4. Marcia Colette said,

    Beth, if the whole family were shifters, I think that would make the family vacation a LOT easier. There would nothing left to chance because mom and dad would be in the same boat as the children. It wouldn’t be a matter of, “Oh dear. I forgot about little Jimmy.” 😉

    LOL! That’s hilarious, Cathy. You gotta love the little ones for their honesty and their imaginations. 🙂

    Actually, I haven’t thought about it Savanna. Chances are it would start out as a comedy that would darker by the chapter and turn into who knows what by the end of the book. Although…it’s a thought. 😉

  5. teresadamario said,

    Oh I meant to come and post a response yesterday, but work kicked my butt. I love this post!!! Its’ funny though, because the only author I know who includes children with her shifters is Nalini Singh, and they are always getting into trouble. 😀

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